This TLCB Writer uttered something containing such wildly offensive profanity when he entered TLCB Towers this morning that even this site, a cesspool of litany, is unable to publish it.

Elves (and Elven bodily fluids) were everywhere. Squashed into the carpet, slammed against walls, wandering round in circles being sick – clearly something had arrived into the halls of the building with a capability for Elven destruction unmatched in the history of this establishment’s existence.

At the end of the corridor, upside-down with a wheel missing, that ‘something’ was discovered. This is it, Kirill Mazurov (aka Desert Kirill / desert752)’s incredible ‘SUV Racer MK II’.

Sitting on top of LEGO’s enormous 42054 Claas Xerion 5000 tyres, powered by four hub-mounted Buggy Motors, with portal axles, independent suspension, and a pair of BuWizz bluetooth bricks delivering eight times the power of LEGO’s own system, Kirill’s creation takes Lego to a place where it probably shouldn’t be.

It’s also a model that the Elves would absolutely love, had they not been chased down and flattened by it. A racing stripe (in orange no less) and Rally Fighter-esque bodywork give Kirill’s model an unusually racy exterior for an off-roading machine, whilst the rear looks a bit like a 1980s Alfa Romeo GTV.

We have no idea where the Elf is that found it, as the culprit has disappeared after overturning their find in the corridor, but it’ll be back later to claim a meal token. Before then we have a lot of tidying up to do, and possibly a few visits to the Elf ‘Hospital’ to make too, so whilst we get on with that (this job absolutely does not pay enough) you can check out more of Kirill’s amazing creation at both his Flickr photostream and at the Eurobricks discussion forum.