It’s been a while since the last act of outrageous Elven violence here at TLCB Towers, but fear not readers, the little scumbags were back in business today. This is Desert752 aka Kirill Mazurov’s ‘Grinder’* tank from the classic video game Red Alert 3, and it’s nuts.

Controlled via bluetooth thanks to no less than three SBricks, Kirill’s Grinder* features ten Power Functions motors, six alone just for drive. A seventh powers the articulated chassis steering, the eighth the boom lift, and a ninth the huge rotating cutter on the end of it.

But what about the tenth you say? Well the lucky Elf that discovered this remote control monstrosity kept that one secret for a bit.

Driving it through the halls of TLCB Towers, Kirill’s Grinder* was frustratingly slow, certainly much too lethargic for the Elf in question to mow down any of its brethren. The other Elves in the office quickly got cocky, taunting the Elf at the controls by standing in front of the approaching tank with its whirling cutter, before jumping out of the way at the last second to much cackling and – we suspect – Elven profanity.

But that tenth motor had yet to be used, and after lulling its colleagues the Elf in control deployed motor No.10. With the secret high-gear engaged the Grinder’s* speed instantly trebled, and the taunters simply couldn’t get out of the way quickly enough.

Fed under the wheels by the cutter, then squashed by the Grinder’s* huge tyres, before being rolled flat by the tracks that followed thereafter, there has probably never been a worse machine to be run over by than this.

We were quite impressed by the Elf at the controls’ subterfuge too, and it’s now enjoying a blue Smartie whilst we have a go with the Grinder* ourselves.

There’s more to see of Kirill’s remote control behemoth at the Eurobricks discussion forum, the complete Red Alert Grinder* gallery can be viewed on Flickr, and you can watch the machine in action via the video below.

YouTube Video

*No, not that Grindr.