Tag Archives: Military

Killing with Kliment

Sometimes we’re surprised we have any Elves left at all…

This is a Soviet Kliment Voroshilov KV-1/KV-2 tank, it comes from Lego-building genius Sariel, and it has caused considerable carnage within our Elven workforce here at TLCB Towers.

Sariel’s model faithfully recreates the 1940’s Russian battle tank, complete with remote control drive and skid-steering, torsion bar suspension, a rotating turret with elevating gun, and – in the case of the mad KV-2 version – a working firing mechanism.

It’s this feature the Elf that discovered today’s find chose to use on its colleagues, firing at them as they fled and then running those that got hit over. It’s not fun being an Elf sometimes. Unless you’re the one doing the firing and running over we suppose…

Anyway, we have the controls now so order has been restored, giving us a chance to examine the astonishing quality of engineering that has gone into this creation.

You can see it for yourself at Sariel’s KV-1/KV-2 Flickr album, the full gallery available at Bricksafe, or the Eurobricks discussion forum. You can also check out Sariel’s interview here at The Lego Car Blog via the first link in the text above, plus you can watch the Kliment Voroshilov tank in action in a Michael Bay-inspired short film below…

YouTube Video

 

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Girls und Panzer

Just when you think anime can’t get any weirder… ‘Girls und Panzer‘ is a cartoon featuring girls and, er… panzers. Presumably to satisfy some seriously niche kinks.

This is one of the panzers from the aforementioned programme, a Porsche Tiger VK4501, a design put forward during the Second World War but never produced, which – given Porcshe’s already slightly dodgy beginnings – is probably a good thing.

This superbly photographed teddy-bear be-stickered Model Team version of the prototype battle tank is the work of newcomer NABLACKS, who has recreated the Tiger GuP.Ver in spectacular detail, and has equipped it with some properly brilliant functionality too…

Underneath the realistic exterior NABLACKS has fitted his Porsche Tiger with twelve (12!) Power Functions L motors, with six driving each track. Oscillating bogies provide the suspension whilst the turret can rotate and tilt courtesy of another two motors. All of that motorised goodness is controllable via bluetooth thanks to a trio of BuWizz 2.0 bricks, each delivering up to eight times the power of LEGO’s own Power Functions battery and IR receiver system.

This makes NABLACKS’ tank fast. Really fast. In fact there’s wasn’t a single Elf on the floor of the TLCB Towers still Elf-shaped within minutes of this arriving in the building.

You can see just how capable NABLACKS’ creation is via the video below (plus you can watch the ‘Girls und Panzer’ trailer video via the first link in the text if you’re feeling weird), and you can view more images of the build at both Flickr and Eurobricks, whilst we dispatch several flattened TLCB Elves to the ‘Elf Hospital‘…

YouTube Video

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To School!

Alice has got herself a new SUV and it’s the perfect car to one-up Rachel and her Range Rover Sport outside the school gates. It was expensive, but you can’t put a price on safety, and David’s job in the city is paying really well now.

Alice’s new school-run monstrosity (an Oshkosh M-ATV) comes from Robson M aka BrickDesigners and is – frankly – not that absurd at all compared to the pointless car-based one-upmanship that occurs outside the education establishment close to TLCB Towers.

Surely this SUV craze has got to end soon? See more of Alice’s new wheels on Flickr via the link.

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Wreckin’ War

Breaking down in a war zone has gotta be pretty rubbish. Fortunately most militaries are prepared for such eventualities, deploying vehicles like this snappily named MK36NGE wrecker to recover their broken equipment. This cunningly created Lego version comes from Flickr’s joopatkleppie, who has included some excellent desert camouflage and recently expired Jeep to complete the scene. See more at the link above.

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Russian Rubezh

The Cold War. A fantastically pointless game between two megalomaniacal superpowers that very nearly destroyed half the planet. Still, at least we won’t repeat that mistake again. What’s that? We are?!… Sigh. Better start storing tinned food.

Anyway, this hulk of Soviet terror is a ‘Rubezh’ coastal missile launcher, shown here in East German specification where it was deployed up until the fall of the Soviet Union and Germany’s reunification in 1990.

This expertly recreated mini-figure scale version comes from Ralph Savelsberg (also aptly known as Mad Physicist) of Flickr and there’s more to see of this Cold War monstrosity at his photostream via the link above.

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More Corsair

This isn’t Henrik Jensen’s first Vought F4E Corsair. In fact he built one way back in 2014, which didn’t feature here as it didn’t quite meet our standards. Or we weren’t paying attention. One of those two anyway. Henrik’s second iteration updates his previous design with LEGO’s latest dark blue parts and folding wingtips, and adds a gloriously cool brick-built checkerboard engine cowling that frankly every plane should have. Custom decals complete the aesthetic accuracy and there’s more of Henrik’s superbly realistic F4E Corsair to see at his Flickr album by clicking these words.

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It Looks Like a Giant…

We’re linking to that childish Austin Powers sketch today for good reason. Firstly because penis jokes are funny. Secondly because this Atlas-F inter-continental ballistic missile looks like one. And thirdly because it, and all the other fantastically pointless atomic weaponry developed during the Cold War, amounted to little more than chillingly dangerous willy waving.

The SM-65 Atlas was one of the USA’s numerous ‘my dick’s bigger than yours’ taunts, and being 85ft high and weighing 260,000 lbs it was admittedly pretty massive. But still completely pointless.

The Atlas-Fs were the first ICBM’s able to be deployed from underground silos, taking just ten minutes to launch. Six squadrons were armed with the F, with seventy-two of the things deployable at their peak (plus another fifty-seven of other variants), each armed with a warhead over a hundred times more powerful than the nuclear bomb dropped on Nagasaki in 1945.

This marvellous recreation of a horrendous machine comes from Flickr’s Ralph Savelsberg (aka Mad Physicist, who is perhaps living up to his name with this build), and is – somewhat unbelievably – mini-figure scale. A neat launch pad, silo, and two mini-figure missile boffins are included and there’s more to see at his photostream. Click the link above to wave your willy.

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Double Horse Goodness

This is an F-82F Twin Mustang long-range fighter, and it really did look like this. Effectively two P-51 Mustangs bolted together (only apparently the USAF couldn’t do math), the F-82F wasn’t ready during the Second World War, but it did see service in the Korean War before the rapid advancements in jet engine technology ended its career. This excellent Lego recreation of one of America’s weirder aircraft comes from John Lamarck and there’s more to see on both Flickr and MOCpages. Click the links to view the full photo set, and for more double horse goodness click this secret link.

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Staff Car

The staff cars here at The Lego Car Blog are, as revealed way back in 2013, all Austin Allegros. Not so the Wehrmacht, who got themselves a vehicle much cooler.

This a Mercedes-Benz W31 Type G4, a three-axle, straight-8 engined, all-terrain limousine as used by Nazi senior management for parades, inspections, and the annexation of other countries.

Only 57 Mercedes-Benz W31 G4s were produced, all of which were used as staff cars by the Nazi regime as the model was deemed much too expensive for normal military use.

This most excellent recreation of the G4, complete with neat caricature of a certain moustachioed despot, comes from Flickr’s Redfern1950s, who has captured the vehicle brilliantly in his trademark cartoon style. Head to Red’s photostream via the link above to join the parade.

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Super Hornet

The Lego Car Blog Team do not like hornets. They’re like wasps, only they’re even bigger bastards. This though, we do like. It’s an F/A-18E ‘Super Hornet’ carrier-based fighter, and it’s been brilliantly built in brick from by previous bloggee Plane Bricks. There’s an opening cockpit, folding wing-tips, fully working landing gear, and an array of angry-looking weaponry, and there’s a whole lot more to see on Flickr. Click the link above to make the jump.

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Fabuwars

Lego Fabuland Tank

Fabuland, one of LEGO’s frankly weirder themes, was not known for brutal war machines piloted by bloodthirsty critters. It was more about popping to the post office to say ‘hello’ to cheery Mr. Mole before planting some daisies in a window box. Not any more though.

Time has toughened the inhabitants of Fabuland, and today they are equipped with an array of terrifying machinery courtesy of Flickr’s Andreas Lenander, whose mind must be a very dark place indeed.

Here we have Buster Walrus and Felix Fox riding atop a gloriously cuboid tank fitted with what looks like a sperm gun. It probably isn’t. Whatever it is we’re pretty sure it’s deadly and there’s more to see at Andreas’ ‘Fabuwars’ album via the link above.

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Light Artillery

Lego SPA TL17

This is an SPA TL.37, a light artillery tractor built by a subsidiary of Fiat during the Second World War for Royal Italian Army. Powered by a huge 4-litre 4-cylinder engine, with four wheel drive and four wheel steering, able to climb a 40-degree slope, and capable of 40km/h whilst pulling 75 or 100mm artillery pieces, it looks like a seriously fun vehicle for gadding about in the desert. Unfortunately for the Axis Powers their gadding about in the desert did not go well, but that’s not exactly the fault of SPA TL.37. There’s more to see of this one courtesy of Rebla of Flickr – click here to take a look.

Lego SPA TL.37

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Flying the Eastern Front

Lego Vintage Aircraft

This delightful scene of calm in the midst of a Great War era conflict comes from Tino Poutianen of Flickr, who has created a lovely generic Allied fighter with its two dashing crew casually catching up on news from home whilst a pig steals some lunch.

Sadly we doubt they or the pig will be around this time next year. The early years of wartime flight were terrifically dangerous, and pigs are, well… really tasty. For now all is well though, and happily it’s this scene that’s been preserved in brick by Tino. See more at the link.

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Meet the Fokkers

Lego Fokker D.VII

Once the largest aircraft manufacturer in the world, Fokker are now perhaps best known for supplying the German Army during the first World War. The company wasn’t actually German though, instead being founded by Dutchman Anthony Fokker in 1912 whilst he studied in Germany, before moving back to the Netherlands in 1919.

The company that once supplied Germany then fought against them in World War 2, before the Germans invaded the Netherlands and requisitioned Fokker’s factories.

The bombing by the Allies that followed completely destroyed Fokker’s manufacturing facilities, and with a glut of cheap ‘lightly used’ aircraft available at the end of the war the company barely survived. But survive it did, right up until 1996 when the might of Boeing and Airbus finally put an end to Fokker aircraft production.

These two wonderful models depict Fokker in their glory days, when they designed arguably the best fighter aircraft in the world for the German Army during the First World War (and we won’t begrudge them that as the First World War was, as previously explained here, completely pointless).

Built by Dread Pirate Wesley they are a Fokker D.VII and Fokker Eindecker E.IV, both recreated (and photographed) beautifully in mini-figure scale. There’s more to see of each aircraft (plus many more) at Wesley’s brilliant ‘Lego Aircraft’ Flickr album – click the link to take off.

Lego Fokker Eindecker

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Dangerous Erection

Lego MAZ, RSD-10 Pioneer SS-20 Saber

This website has featured a few tenuously linked erection puns over the years, but today there’s no tenuousness at all, as this green phallus-on-wheels is actually called an ‘erector-launcher’.

This Cold War era Soviet RSD-10 ‘Pioneer’ ballistic nuclear missile and the amazing MAZ 547 transporter erector-launcher which carried it come from TLCB regular Ralph Savelsberg, and they’re terrifying.

Measuring over 54ft in length, weighing 37 tons, and capable of flying 7,500km whilst carrying up to three warheads by the end of its development, the RSD-10 was at the very forefront of pointless nuclear dick-waving.

Over 650 of the things were produced, but are now thankfully destroyed (bar a few decommissioned for display purposes) after the U.S and the Soviet Union signed an agreement in 1987 to stop being total morons*.

The Soviet Union though, being a model of responsibility, sold a few of the launchers to North Korea, because they’re trustworthy and accountable state nation. Sigh.

There’s more to see of this rather brilliant mini-figure scale recreation of the MAZ 547 and RSD-10 at Ralph’s Flickr album via the link above, and if you fancy seeing a real one you can do so at the Ukraine Air Force Museum in Kiev and at the Smithsonian National Air and Space Museum in Washington D.C.

Or on the streets of Pyongyang in North Korea of course.

Lego MAZ, RSD-10 Pioneer SS-20 Saber*And if you think the U.S is any better, guess who this year pulled out of the agreement that ended the RSD-10 Pioneer’s use… Yeah, this guy.

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